International Talk Like a Pirate Day - September 19th

International Talk Like a Pirate Day (TLAPD) - September 19th

Will and Guy would recommend that you join in the fun on that day and act rather like that marvellous actor, the late and great Robert Newton, from the 1950 Disney film 'Treasure Island.'

• 19th September
• Pirate Vocabulary
• Video Explaining the 5 Pirate 'A's
• How to be a pirate girl
• Suitable Jokes for International Talk Like a Pirate Day

The next International 'Talk Like A Pirate Day' will be on Friday 19th September 2008.

19th September

September the 19th - it be International Talk Like A Pirate Day. Ye don't want to be forgettin' that and have yer kids goin' to school soundin' like a bunch o' landlubbers, now do ye? Arrr.

Talk Like a Pirate Day is also a chance to raise money for charity.

The British HQ of 'Talk Like a Pirate Day' gives all its collected money to Marie Curie Cancer Care.

Getting Started

You may like to consider some of the following behaviour as a start:

• Put a parrot on your shoulder, strap on a peg leg, hit the rum and start bellowing, 'Shiver me Timbers'.
• The September 19th is your once-a-year chance to don an eye patch, sport a ridiculously large hat and keep on saying 'Arrrrr'.

It all started back in the 1990s as a cult joke between two American friends: John 'Ol Chumbucket' Baur and Mark 'Cap'n Slappy' Summers but really took off when columnist Dave Barry got to hear about their surreal festival and publicised it.

International Talk Like a Pirate Day (TLAPD), which adopted Treasure Island star Robert Newton as its patron saint, now attracts fans from as far afield as Britain and Australia and even boasts a special Wikipedia site on the Internet.

The day even has its own unofficial anthem: American Tom Smith has written and recorded 'Talk Like a Pirate Day' - and Canadian sketch comedy troupe Loading Ready Run produced an educational video on how to swashbuckle with the best of them.

Pirate Vocabulary

Will and Guy have researched some vocabulary that you may enjoy using in your conversations:

• Growl - and scowl often. Pirates don't use a cultured, elegant, smooth vocalisation - they mutter and growl.
• Ahoy: Greetings, also Hallo, Hi there.
• Avast: Stand still and listen.
• Aye or Aye Aye: Yes. OK.
• Aaaaargh: can mean anything you want it to.
• Black spot: by giving someone a black spot [place it in their hand] you are marking them for death or misfortune.
• Booty: treasure searched for by pirates
• Cat o' nine tails: special whip for flogging wrongdoers and those that mutiny.
• Davy Jones' Locker: the bottom of the sea, where the souls of dead men lie.
• Doubloons: gold coins.
• Gentlemen O' fortune: posh word for a pirate.
• Grog: A pirate's favourite drink - rum usually because of the Caribbean connection.
• Jolly Roger: the skull and crossbones, the pirate flag.
• Keelhaul: a truly vicious punishment where a malcontent or wrongdoer was tied to a rope and dragged along the barnacle-encrusted bottom of a ship. He would not survive this experience.
• Landlubber: 'land-lover,' someone not used to life onboard a ship.
• Lily-livered: faint hearted.
• Loaded to the gunwales (pronounced gunnels): probably means to be inebriated.
• Matey: a shipmate or a friend. Also useful is Me hearty.
• Pieces o' eight: pieces of silver which could be cut into eighths thus enabling change to be given.
• Privateer: a private warship owned by a pirate and officially sanctioned by a national power. e.g. Sir Francis Drake.
• Scurvy dog: a personal insult.
• Shiver me timbers: an exclamation of surprise.
• Swashbuckling: fighting and having fun on the high seas.
• Walk the plank: exactly what it says on the tin.................
• Wench: a young pretty lady.
• Yo-ho-ho: the way a pirate laughs, often heard with, '......................and a bottle of rum.'

Video Explaining the 5 Pirate 'A's

How to be a Pirate Girl:

Wear a lot of bandanas. Especially ones with skull and crossbones designs and red and black ones. When not wearing a bandana, make your hair a bit messy. You can also use an eye patch. White, ivory, beige, cream and tan peasant shirts are great for the look. Skull t-shirts are also great. Plain black, white or beige shirts with cut-off sleeves are a great addition to your wardrobe. Brightly coloured long sleeve button ups are piratey. Just make sure they are loose, not stiff like a shirt a corporate executive might wear to the office. And make sure you leave all of it untucked but the very front, creating a sagging look [regardless of how it's finished] and unbutton the top few buttons suggests the Telegraph online.

A dog likes being a pirate for the day

Suitable Jokes for International Talk Like a Pirate Day (TLAPD)

Why can't you play cards on a pirate ship?
The captain keeps standing on the deck.

How do you make a tall pirate short?
You take all his money.

What does the ocean say when it sees the shore?
Nothing, it just waves.

What happened to the man with two wooden legs when his trousers caught fire?
He was burnt to the ground.

What does a pirate's parrot eat.
Polyfiller.

Which pirate wears the biggest hat?
The one with the biggest head.

Question: Who's that at the door?

Answer: A pirate with a wooden leg.

Questioner: Tell him to hop it.

Walking the Plank

Hollywood, Robert Louis Stevenson's 'Treasure Island' and the story of Peter Pan, are responsible for perpetuating the myth that pirates used to kill their enemies by making them 'walk the plank.'

The fact, it is hard to imagine that real pirates such as Captain Kidd would waste time killing someone by drowning in this fashion. A quick throw overboard would suffice.  If a buccaneer wished to be cruel, or wanted to torture their victim, then  Keel-hauling would be more effective.

Another reason why 'walking the plank' is lionised is because of Howard Pyle's illustrations in the 19th Century. The picture (see right) first appeared in Harper's Monthly in 1887.

Famous Pirates

Captain Morgan, typifies the buccaneer spirit.  He also typified how both the establishment and history blurred line between good and bad.  If you were English and you robbed ships belonging to enemy countries such as Spain, then you were a good privateer.  But if you looted English or allied ships, then you were bad pirate.  In 1673 Captain Morgan stood trial for piracy, however instead of being convicted, the King (Charles II) intervened personally, knighted Captain Morgan, and then made him governor of Jamaica.

Captain Kidd, the scourge of the Indian ocean.  Famously, Captain Kidd was hanged in London in 1701; his body was then dipped in tar, and displayed on the bank of the river Thames as a deterrent to would be pirates.

Blackbeard, terrorised the American coasts in the early 18th centaury.  Killed in 1718 by Lieutenant Maynard of the Royal Navy (Pre-independence).

Hampshire Council Dislikes Pirates

A Hampshire woman has been ordered to remove a pirate flag from her garden.

She wanted to fly the Jolly Roger in her garden for a bit of fun writes the Basingstoke Gazette; but Carol Clark's plan to run the flag up the pole has been shot down in flames. Mrs Clark, 47, from The Rookery, Whitchurch, Hampshire, UK, received a letter from the Basingstoke and Deane Borough Council after someone complained about the flag being flown.

An inspection by a council official followed and Mrs Clark was then told flying the pirates' emblem contravened advertising regulations and that she would have to apply for planning consent, at a cost of £265, [$516 USD] or risk legal action. Recognised national, regional or local flags may be flown without consent, but all others are treated as advertisements and require planning permission.

Carol Clark has now decided to replace the Jolly Roger with a Union Flag, which does not require consent to be flown.

• More good funny jokes for September

See more Jackson jokes and seafaring stories:

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