The Atheist and the Bear
Will and Guy's Bear Stories
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The Atheist and the Bear
An atheist was taking a walk through the woods. ' What majestic trees! What powerful rivers! What beautiful animals!' he said to himself.
As he continued walking alongside the river he heard a rustling in the bushes. Turning to look, he saw a 7 foot grizzly charging towards him.
He ran as fast as he could up the path. Looking over his shoulder he saw that the bear was closing in on him. His heart was pumping frantically and he tried to run even faster.
He tripped and fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up but saw the bear raising his paw to take a swipe at him.
At that instant the atheist cried out: 'Oh my God!...'
Time stopped.
The bear froze.
The forest was silent.
It was then that a bright light shone upon the man and a voice came out of the sky saying:
'You deny my existence for all of these years, teach others I don't
exist and even credit creation to a cosmic accident.
Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as
a believer?'
The atheist looked directly into the light.
'It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask you to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps, could you make the BEAR a Christian?'
'Very well, 'said the voice. The light went out, and the sounds of the forest resumed.
And then the bear lowered his paw, bowed his head and spoke: 'Lord, bless this food which I am about to receive and for which I am truly thankful, Amen.'
♦
Roderick and the two bears
Roderick is rambling in the woods one day when a bear chases him up a really tall tree. The bear starts to climb the tree, so Roderick climbs up higher. Then, the bear climbs down and goes away.
Again, the Roderick starts to climb down the tree. Suddenly, the bear returns, and this time he’s brought an even bigger bear with him. The two bears climb up the tree, the bigger bear going higher than the first. Rod climbs even higher still, so that the bears can’t reach him. Eventually, the bears go away.
Naturally quite relieved, Roderick starts down the tree again. Suddenly, the two bears return, this time Rod knows he is in big trouble, as each bear is carrying a beaver.
®
Beer Bait
Campground workers at the Baker Lake Resort on Washington State's Puget Sound were surprised to find a black bear passed out and surrounded by three dozen beer cans. The animal had swiped the tinnies from
campers' coolers and seemed to take a liking to the local brew, Rainier Beer.
The bear was chased away only to return the next day, presumably looking for more beer. Wildlife agents captured the bear using
honey, doughnuts and beer for bait.
See more funny bear pictures, stories and videos:
● Home ● I want to be a bear ● Bear birdfeeder ● Bear story (PPT) ● Bear and atheist
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