One of the oddities of the English language is the different names given
to collections or groups of animals. Many of our
examples of animal collective nouns are evocative, and extremely
clever.
Collective Nouns of Animals Sorted by Collective Noun
A bloat of hippopotami An ambush of tigers An army of frogs A blessing of unicorns A
chain of lynx A circus of monkeys A clowder of cats A crash of
rhinoceroses A cuddle of teddy bears A flamboyance of flamingos A float of crocodiles A gaze of raccoons A labour of
moles A murder of crows A nag of wives An overbearance of brood mares A raffle of
turkeys A rake of mules A sum of adders A tribe of goats An
unkindness of ravens A wake of buzzards A walk of snails
We have gleaned these examples of collective nouns from The New Yorker
Magazine and date back to the 1990s. Nonetheless they are funny, clever and
amusing.
The Plain English Campaign is a group that has been fighting for crystal-clear communication since 1979. Consider some of these examples that made Guy and Will smile:
Take off lid and
push up bottom. [From a stick deodorant label]
These guidelines are written in a matter-of-fact
style that eschews jargon, the obscure and the insular. They are intended for use by the novice and the experienced alike. [From the United Kingdom Evaluation Society 'Guidelines for good practice in
evaluation']
Thought grenade [Management jargon as found in Office Angels survey - means 'explosive, good ideas']
This is a genuine ground floor opportunity to shape a front line field force operating in a matrix structure. [As stated on the 'Take a Fresh Look at Wales' website]
The delay to this service is
due to low adhesive conditions. [Otherwise known as 'slippery tracks', from First Scotrail]
The cause of the fire was due to a malicious ignition incident that was fortunately contained to the function and
meeting room area of the hotel. [News statement about a fire at a hotel]
Its clear lines and minimalist design provide it with an unmistakable look. It is daring, and different. So that your writing
instrument not only carries your message, but lives it. [Promotional literature for ... pens]
Where the policy is divided into a number of distinct arrangements ('Arrangements') where benefits are capable
of being taken from on Arrangement or group of Arrangements separately from other Arrangements, then this policy amendment will not apply to any Arrangements in respect of which the relevant policy proceeds
have already been applied to provide benefits. The policy amendment will apply to all other Arrangements under the policy. [Policy amendment, Norwich Union]
A top ten of the most annoying expressions has been compiled by
researchers at Oxford University in England. Top of the list was 'at the end
of the day', followed by 'fairly unique', reports the Daily Telegraph
newspaper.
'I personally' a phrase described by BBC Radio 4 presenter and
journalist, John Humphreys, as the 'linguistic equivalent of having chips
with rice' was third.
Also making the top ten is the grammatically incorrect 'shouldn't of',
instead of 'shouldn't have'.
The phrases appear in a book called Damp Squid, named after the mistake
of confusing a squid with a squib. The researchers who compiled the list
monitor the use of phrases in a database called the Oxford University
Corpus, which comprises books, papers, magazines, broadcast, the internet
and other sources.
The book's author Jeremy Butterfield says many annoyingly over-used
expressions actually began as office lingo, such as 24/7 and 'synergy'. He
added, 'We grow tired of anything that is repeated too often: an anecdote, a
joke, a mannerism, and the same seems to happen with some language.'
∞
The
10 Most Irritating Phrases in Full:
At the end of the day
Fairly unique
I personally
At this moment in time
With all due respect
Absolutely
It's a nightmare
Shouldn't of
24/7
It's not rocket science
Will and Guy would love to know the expressions which bug and annoy you.
Please send them to us for inclusion on the site.
Tesco supermarket has bowed to pressure from the Plain English Campaign
and scrapped checkout signs reading, 'Ten items or less.'
Critics insist that the signs should read: 'Ten items or fewer.' Tesco has
side-stepped a complicated grammatical debate by changing the signs to: 'Up
to 10 items.'
A clutch of kleptomaniacs.
A flunk of students.
Footnote: Please send us you examples of funny
animal collective nouns.
If you like this page then please share it with your friends
Get a clean joke delivered to your inbox every
day, no strings attached, just part of our service. Free
subscription to
our Funny Joke of the Day email.
We have over 1,500 pages of funny pictures, clean jokes, stories and amusing videos. Please use the Search below to find a topic of particular interest:
Thought of the Day Subscription
Our offer is to email you an inspirational
'Thought of the day'. Your subscription is completely free of cost and there
are no adverts. Sign up for our 'Thought of
the Day'.
