These credit crunch jokes and funny pictures may seem callous.
However, in times of adversity, humour is the best medicine.
So far Will and Guy's friends who are in most the most dire straights have
laughed the most. It's as though they need something awful, but funny,
to snap them out of their gloom, and spur them into doing something about
their financial predicament.
The credit crunch has helped me get back on my feet. The car's been
repossessed.
Latest news: The Isle of Dogs* Bank has collapsed. They've called in
the retrievers.
How do you define an optimist? A bank manager who irons 5 shirts on
Sunday night.
I went to buy a toaster and it came with a bank.
A man went to his bank manager and said, 'I'd like to start a small
business. How do I go about it?' 'Simple,' said the bank manager. 'Buy a
big one and wait.'
What's the difference between an investment banker and a pizza
Margherita? A pizza Margherita can feed a family of five.
A director decided to award a prize of £50 for the best idea of
saving the company money during the recession. It was won by a young
executive who suggested reducing the prize money to £10.
* The Isle of Dogs is part of the East End of London. Think of a
map of the river Thames, the Isle of Dogs is in the biggest loop.
Will and Guy have selected these photos, taken in Zimbabwe, Africa, which
show graphically the inflation rate running at over 231,000,000% a year.
Zimbabwe has become home to many poverty stricken millionaires
In early 2008, a Zimbabwe ten million dollar bill was worth less than an
American 'sawbuck' $10
By autumn 2008 you needed 100 billion Zimbabwe dollars to buy three eggs.
♦
Because of the ongoing market turmoil several companies are merging in
order to survive
We bring you the results of these mergers:
Hale Business Systems, Mary Kay Cosmetics, Fuller Brush,
and W. R. Grace Co. will merge and become: Hale, Mary, Fuller, Grace
3M and Goodyear will merge and become: MMMGood
FedEx is expected to join its competitor UPS to become:
FedUP
Fairchild Electronics and Honeywell Computers will become:
Fairwell Honeychild
The United States have developed a new weapon that destroys
people but it leaves buildings standing. It's called the stock market. -
Jay Leno
The economy is in big trouble. Yesterday in a big speech, President
Bush said the economy was still getting over the hangover from the 90's.
And then, the President admitted, he was still getting over his hangover
from the 80's.—Conan O'Brien
A suited man, an investment banker, is striding along a road in
the countryside and he comes across a shepherd and with his flock of
sheep. Being a gambler, he tells the shepherd, 'I will bet you
$100 against one of your sheep that I can tell you the exact number in
this flock.'
The shepherd thinks it over, it's a huge flock so he accepts the bet.
'261,' says the banker.
The shepherd is astonished because the figure is exactly correct. He
says, 'OK, I'm a man of my word, take a sheep.' The investment
banker selects one of the animals and begins to walk away.
'Wait,' yells the shepherd, 'Let me have a chance to get even. Double
or nothing that I can guess your exact occupation.' The banker agrees
readily.
'You are a government investment banker,' says the shepherd.
'Good grief!' splutters the banker, 'You are exactly right, tell me, how
did you deduce that?'
'Easy,' says the shepherd, 'give me back my sheep dog, and I will
tell you.'
'Money talks. Trouble is, mine only knows one word — Goodbye,' says
Guy.
The federal government is sending each of us a $600 rebate.
If we spend that money at Wal-Mart, the money will go to China
If we spend it on gasoline it will go to the Arabs
If we purchase a computer it will go to India
If we purchase fruit and vegetables it will go to Mexico, Honduras
and Guatemala
If we purchase a good car it will go to Japan
If we purchase something useless it will go to Taiwan……..whoops,
sorry…………………………. and none of it will help the American economy.
The only way to keep that money here at home is to buy beer and
cigarettes, since these are the only products still produced in the USA.
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