Cycle Jokes and Funny Bicycle Pictures

Cycle Jokes, Stories and Funny Bicycle Pictures

My granny started cycling at 97 years old. She has been doing ten miles per day every day ever since - and now we don't know where the heck she is!

• Ring That Bell
• Away Team Supporters On Their Bikes
• How I beat Lance Armstrong
• Mexican Cyclist
• What a Way to Spend Your Birthday
• Brief History of Bone-shakers to Motorbikes
• Funny Pictures of Bikes

Ring That Bell

A tired cyclist stuck his thumb out for a lift. After 3 hours he hadn't got anyone to stop. Eventually, a guy in a sports car pulled over and offered him a lift but, of course, the bike wouldn't fit in the car. The driver got some rope out of his boot [trunk] and tied it to his bumper. He tied the other end to the bike and told the rider, 'If I go too fast, ring your bell and I'll slow down.'

Everything went well until another sports car overtook them. The driver forgot all about the cyclist and put his foot down. A short distance down the road, they hammered through a speed trap. The cop with the radar gun radioed ahead to his colleague that 2 sports cars were heading his way at over 150 mph. He then added, 'And you're not going to believe this - there's a cyclist behind them ringing his bell to pass.'

Football in Holland: How Supporters Travel to Games

Away Team Supporters On Their Bikes

Cycle Storage for Home Team Supporters

Meanwhile, the Wife and Children Go Shopping

And, the Eldest Son 'Walks' the Dogs

Cycle Jokes

How I beat Lance Armstrong

'I don't remember you ever beating Lance Armstrong' commented Brian, the journalist. 'When was that?'

'In the seventh stage of the Tour de France in 2002, I beat him over the head with my water bottle - but he still won the tour!'

Mexican Cyclist

A man on a bike, carrying two saddlebags, was stopped by a guard while crossing the US-Mexican border.  He had rigged up a primitive rope bridge to by-pass the customs control.

'What's in the bags? demanded the guard.
'Sand,' the cyclist answered.
'Take them off. I need to take a look.' retorted the guard.

The guard emptied the bags and found out they contained nothing but sand. The man reloaded his bags and continued across the border. A week later, the same man was crossing again with two more bags. The guard demanded to see them, and again they contained nothing but sand. This continued every week for six months, until one day the cyclist failed to appear. A few days later, that same guard ran into the cyclist in Tijuana.

'Hey, where have you been?' the guard enquired. 'You sure had us wondering. We knew you were smuggling something across the border. So tell me and I won't say a word. What was it?'

The man smiled broadly and told him the truth, 'Bicycles!'

What a Way to Spend Your Birthday

A 48-year-old man from San Diego, California broke the previous world record for stationary cycling by more than 11 hours.  Pete Maisel completed a session that lasted 96 hours, 4 minutes and 8 seconds.  In fact, he spent his 48th birthday with his his girlfriend, Wendy Gardiner, but in a different way than previous years. His goal for the non-stop peddling was to raise money for charitable causes and an upcoming bike trek.

What a Way to Spend the Night!

Will and Guy's Selection of Funny Bicycle Pictures

A Very Brief History of Bone-shakers to Motorbikes

Wooden Bone-shaker

Wooden Bike

From the Ridiculous to the Sublime - Ferrari Bike

Israeli industrial designer Amir Glinik uses the engine from a Ferrari Enzo and some drive-by-wire technology from an F-16 fighter jet to create a V4 superbike worthy of the great Italian marque.

From the Sublime to the Outrageous - Swarovski Crystal Bike

This is probably world's most expensive bicycle at just over £60,000, [approx. $105,000 USD] think Will and Guy. Called the Gold Bike Crystal Edition; each of the ten produced is hand-built and gold-plated with 24-carat gold, and decked out with over 600 *Swarovski crystals. Hand-sewn leather grips and a Brooks leather saddle provide finishing touches to the bike, with each limited edition number embossed with gold leaf and set into a leather badge onto the bike's head tube. The business, Scandinavian design company Aurumania, has also created a 24-carat gold wall holder for the bike, so it can be displayed as a work of art.

* Swarovski Crystals are high quality Austrian cut glass crystals that are expertly faceted and polished to produce the finest quality crystals available. The reason for their popularity is that they sparkle and shine like diamonds.

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