Easter Bunny - Funny Rabbit Stories

Will and Guy's Funny Easter Bunny Stories

Warning.  We found that these jokes and stories are a classic example of jokes being funny provided you are in the right mood.  If Easter is just around the corner then these jokes raise a smile.  At other times of the year ... just enjoy the pictures.

• Rabbit One-liners
• Funny Easter Bunny Story
• Egg Laying Ceremony for Easter Sunday
• Squirrels in Church
• Bunny Becomes Mum to Kittens
• Easter Bunny has Near Death Experience
• Easter Bunny and other Stories
• Fluffy and Cedric: Bunny story with a moral

1) Rabbit One-liners

A magician pulls rabbits out of hats.
An experimental psychologist pulls habits out of rabbits.

What do you get when you pour hot water down a rabbit hole?
A Hot Cross bunny. 

What did the bunny say when he only had thistles to eat?
Thistle have to do! 

How do you post a bunny?
Hare mail. 

What does a bunny use when it goes fishing?
A hare-net. 

Why are people always tired in April?
Because they've just finished a March 

Why did the rabbit cross the road?
Because it was the chicken's day off. 

What do you call ten rabbits marching backwards?
A receding hareline. 

What did the rabbit say to the carrot?
It's been nice gnawing at you.

How many chocolate bunnies can you put into an empty Easter basket?
One. After that the basket won't be empty.

Why did the rabbit cross the road
Because the chicken had his Easter eggs. 

Mandy Mole: What's the difference between the Easter rabbit and a mattababy?
Rikki: What's a mattababy?
Mandy Mole: Nothing. What's the matter with you? 

Why is a bunny the luckiest animal in the world?
It has 4 rabbits' feet.

2) Funny Easter Bunny Story

A man was driving along the highway when saw the Easter rabbit hopping across the middle of the road. He swerved to avoid hitting the rabbit, but unfortunately the Easter bunny jumped in front of the car and was struck by his car. 

The basket of eggs and candy, the rabbit was carrying, went flying all over the place. The driver, being a sensitive man, as well as an animal lover, pulled over to the side of the road, and got out to see what had become of the rabbit carrying the basket. Much to his dismay, the colourful rabbit was dead. The driver felt so awful, he began to cry.

A woman driving down the highway saw the man crying on the side of the road and pulled over. She stepped out of her car and asked the man what was wrong. 'I feel terrible', he explained, 'I accidentally hit the Easter rabbit and killed it. Children will be so disappointed. What should I do?'

The woman told the man not to worry. She knew what to do. She went to her car trunk, and pulled out a spray can. She walked over to the dead, limp rabbit, and sprayed the contents of the can onto the furry animal. Miraculously the Easter rabbit came to life, jumped up, picked up the spilled eggs and candy, waved its paw at the two humans and hopped down the road. 50 metres away the Easter rabbit stopped turned around, waved and hopped down the road. 50 metres further on, he turned again, waved and hopped another 50 metres, again he waved. 

The man was astonished. He couldn't figure out what substance could be in the woman's spray can. He ran over to the woman and asked, 'What is in your spray can? What did you spray on the Easter rabbit?'

The woman turned the can around so that the man could read the label. It said: 'Hair spray. Restores life to dead hair. Adds permanent wave.'

3) Egg Laying Ceremony for Easter Sunday

Church notices: This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs Cusworth to come forward and lay an egg on the altar.

This Monday we will be holding a 'Bean Supper' in the church hall. Music will follow..................

3a) Prayer for Easter

Young Ernie and his family were invited to have Easter lunch at his grandmother's house in Monkey's Eyebrow, Arizona. USA. Everyone was seated around the table as the food was being served.
When Ernie received his plate he started eating straight away.

'Ernie, wait until we say grace,' demanded his father.

'I don't have to,' the five year old replied.

'Of course you do, Ernest,' his mother insisted rather forcefully. 'We always say a prayer before eating at our house.'

'That's at our house,' Ernie explained, 'but this is Grandma's house, and she knows how to cook.'

4) Squirrels in Church

Squirrels had overrun three churches in Fareham Town, Hampshire, UK. This amusing story was told to us by an old friend from the South coast of England:

The vicars had tried everything in their power to remove them. After a great deal of prayer, the churchwardens of the first church determined that the animals were predestined to be there. Who were they to interfere with God's will? However, the squirrels continued to multiply.

The second church's wardens also decided that they could not harm any of God's creatures; so they purchased some humane traps, caught the miscreants and set the squirrels free outside of town in the New Forest. Several days later, the squirrels returned much to the Parish Council's horror.

It was only the third church, Holy Trinity, which succeeded in keeping the intruders away. The vicar baptised the squirrels and registered them as members of the church.

Now they only see them at Christmas and Easter.

5) Maria Told Her Mother Gladly

Maria came home from Sunday School on Easter Sunday and told her mother that she had learned a new song about a cross-eyed bear named Gladly.

It took her mother a while before she realised that the hymn Maria had been singing was really: "Gladly The Cross I'd Bear,"

6) Bunny Becomes Mum to Kittens

Six kittens abandoned by their mum have found an unlikely replacement - a pet rabbit. The tiny kittens were left all alone after their mum decided she couldn't be bothered feeding them. They were taken in by veterinary nurse Melanie Humble, who thought her own cat would mother them, but instead they're being cared for by her rabbit, 'Summer'.

Now, they've fallen in love with their surrogate mum and refuse to leave her alone. Melanie, 29, from Aberdeen, Scotland said, 'It's amazing to see, for some reason they just took to the rabbit instantly and thought she was their mum. They started climbing all over her and were looking to get milk from her. She just sat there and let them do it. Now they follow her everywhere. They can't bear to be without her. They're all so lovely together.'

7) Easter Bunny has Near Death Experience

An eagle and rabbit have become the best of friends. Here is an unlikely Easter Bunny story from Zhengzho City, China. It was feeding time for the eagle so the owner put the Easter bunny in the big bird's cage. Amazingly, instead of following its predatory nature, the eagle befriended the rabbit. Can you put yourself in the grateful bunnies socks? I had a near death experience, now I am a pampered star.

The owner said, 'The rabbit very humbly combs the eagle's feathers with its mouth. The eagle is four-months-old, and I threw him the rabbit for food, but apparently he doesn't know how to enjoy his meals.'

What is the difference between a crazy bunny and a counterfeit banknote?
One is bad money and the other is a mad bunny!

8) Story of the miracle bunny

Jimmy came home that evening after a long day in the classroom and to his horror he found his German Shepherd, Rex, with next door neighbours bunny rabbit in its mouth. The rabbit was obviously dead.

Greatly upset, Jimmy panicked thinking, 'If my neighbours find out that Rex killed their bunny, they'll hate me forever.' Jimmy quickly took the rather large bunny, and, placing it in a paper bag deposited in the local incinerator tip. On his way home, Jimmy looked into Pets 'R Us and bought a rabbit which he gauged was just like the deceased. Back home, Jimmy took the “new” rabbit and placed it in the open hutch in his neighbours garden.

Later that evening, Jimmy heard a knock on his front door and opening it he found his next door neighbours bearing the 'new' rabbit in their arms.

'Look,' squeaked his neighbour, 'Yesterday Billy was dead and we buried him 4 feet down in the garden. Today we come home and find that not only is he alive and well but he has grown several more teeth but also he has shrunk. It's a miracle.'

Story based on a true story about a mouse owned by Will's wife when she was a child.

9) Fluffy and Cedric: Bunny story with a moral

Fluffy, the orphan bunny and Cedric the orphan snake lived in the forest; they were, by an amazing coincidence, both blind from birth.

One morning, bright and early Fluffy was hopping through the forest when he tripped over the body of Cedric who was basking in the sunlit undergrowth. Fluffy landed quite hard on the prostrate body of Cedric.

'Crikey,' exclaimed Fluffy the bunny, 'I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to squash you. I've been blind since birth, so, I can't see where I'm going. In fact, since I'm also an orphan, I don't even know what creature I am.'

'That's OK, mate,' commented Cedric the snake. 'Actually my story is much the same as yours. I, too, have been blind since birth and also never knew my mother. Tell you what, maybe I could slither all over you and work out what you are, so at least you'll be able to find that out.'

'What a marvellous idea,' replied Fluffy the bunny.

So the Cedric slithered all over Fluffy and said, 'Well, you're covered with soft fur, you have really long ears, your nose twitches and you have a soft cottony tail. I'd say that you must be a bunny rabbit.'

'Oh, thank you, thank you,' cried Fluffy with tremendous pleasure. Then Fluffy the bunny suggested to the snake, 'Perhaps I could be allowed to feel you all over with my paw and help you the same way that you've helped me.'

So Fluffy the bunny felt Cedric the snake all over and summarised, 'Well, you're smooth and slippery, you have a forked tongue and no backbone. I'd say you must be either a team leader or possibly someone in senior management.'

Footnote:
Please send us your funny Easter Bunny story

• More clean and funny jokes for April

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