Funny English Words

Will and Guy's Funny English Words

Probably no other language has as many strange, quirky and funny words as English.  This is good news for those who like a laugh because there are so many possibilities for a joke.

• Quirky Logic
• The problem with Speaking English
• More Funny Words
• Words to Slip into Conversation
• Misnomers
• Will and Guy Select Our Top Ten Quirky Words

1) Funny English Words with Quirky Logic

• There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger. 
• Have you noticed that there is neither apple nor pine in pineapple.
• English muffins weren't invented in England.
• French fries do not originate in France.
• A guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
• And there are no hogs in Hogmanay.
• And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?
• You cannot buy boots in Boots nor virgins in Virgin. You cannot buy threshers in Threshers and the Superdrug chain is a big disappointment.
• Quicksand only works slowly
• If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth?
• One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese?
• If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?
• If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
• A pregnant goldfish is called a twit.
• See Examples of Engrish humour

2) The Problem with Speaking English

1. Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.
2. Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.
3. Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.
4. Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.
5. Germans drink beer and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.

CONCLUSION: Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.

3) More Funny English Words

If you stop and think about certain English words, you cannot help wondering about the quirky logic of their derivation.

• There is no parlour in in parlous. (Parlous - dangerous, hazardous)
• Sweetmeats are sweets while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.
• When you are incommunicado: you are without the means to communicate.

4) Words to Slip into Conversation

It's not that these English words are funny, its just that Will and I challenge you to include them in your repertoire and slip them into conversation.

• Imbue: to dye; to instill profoundly.
• Spoony: foolishly or sentimentally in love.
• Visage: the face; also, appearance; aspect.
• Sapient: wise; sage; discerning.
• Quiddity: the essence or nature of a thing.
• Exegete: one who explains or interprets difficult parts of written works.
• Sine qua non: an indispensable thing.
• Sesquipedalian: (of words) long; having many syllables.
• Predilection: an established preference.
• Grandee: a man of elevated rank or station; a nobleman.

For example:

It's the quiddity of grandees that they have a predilection to imbue sesquipedalian words. 
We bet that you can do even better.

5) Misnomers

These dozen examples of 'Misnomers' were reported in The Guardian newspaper in February 2006.  Will and Guy find this collection of quirky phrases both informative and amusing:

1. Arabic numerals originated in India.
2. Tin cans and tin foil are constructed from aluminium, not tin.
3. Madison Square Garden, USA is not square (nor is it a garden).
4. Danish pastries were invented in Austria.
5. Dry cleaning uses a fluid called naphtha.
6. Pencil lead - pencils use graphite and not lead.
7. The Koala bear is a marsupial and not a bear.
8. Panama hats originate from Ecuador, not Panama.
9. The word Asteroid means ' star-like' and they are small planets.
10. The Turkey is native to America and is named for its resemblance to a bird native to Africa.
11. The Peanut is a legume, [i.e. fruit/vegetable] not a nut.
12. The People's Democratic Republic of Korea. [Think about it; particularly if you live there]

6) English Is A Funny Language Says Expert

More Quirky English Words

Approximately 100 quirky words mark English people out from the rest of the English-speaking world have been detailed in a new book: "Jolly Wicked Actually: The 100 Words That Make Us English, by Tony Thorne, a language expert and consultant at King’s College London, details the words that have become synonymous with the modern English language. The book details some of the best known slang words used in the English language and speculates where they could have derived from, including "fab", one of the few 1960s words meaning trendy; "fusspot", meaning "anxiety" first used 300 years ago; and "naff", which possibly derives from *NAAFI, the Navy, Army and Air Force Institutes.

* The Navy, Army & Air Force Institutes (NAAFI) was established in 1921 and serves those who serve in the British Armed forces and their families.

7) Will and Guy Select Our Top Ten Quirky Words:

1. Barking: Thought to be named after the London suburb, home to a former asylum site; hence 'Barking mad'.
2. Binge: A bout of uncontrolled indulgence.
3. Blighty: A word much loved by RAF types in WW2.  Originally from the Hindi word "bilayati" meaning foreign.
4. Blimey: Could be shorthand for "God, blind me."
5. Chum: A "chummy" used to be a chimney sweep’s assistant.
6. Cuppa: First used for tea by PG Wodehouse, the playwright.
7. Dear: From an old English word, "deore", meaning "much loved."
8. Grotty: Sixties Liverpool slang.
9. Jolly: From an old French word meaning "festive".
10. Slag: Derived from a 16th century German word meaning "dross".

Footnote:
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