The Nicest Thing About The Future
Is That It Always Starts Tomorrow

Predicting the Future

• The Nicest Thing About The Future Is That It Always Starts Tomorrow
• The Future - Time Travel
• Funny, Useless And Totally Wrong Predictions

The Nicest Thing About The Future Is That It Always Starts Tomorrow
Kindly sent in by John Morris

1. There are no new sins; the old ones just get more publicity.
2. Money will buy a fine dog, but only kindness will make him wag his tail.
3. If you don't have a sense of humor, you probably don't have any sense at all.
4. Seat belts are not as confining as wheelchairs.
5. How come it takes so little time for a child who is afraid of the dark to become a teenager who wants to stay out all night?
6. Business conventions are important because they demonstrate how many people a company can operate without.
7. Why is it that at class reunions you feel younger than everyone else looks?
8. Scratch a dog and you'll find a permanent job.
9. No one has more driving ambition than the boy who wants to buy a car.
10. Think about this ... No one ever says 'It's only a game' when his team is winning.
11. A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you're in deep water.
12. There are worse things than getting a call for a wrong number at 4 am. It could be a right number.
13. I've reached the age where the happy hour is a nap.
14. Be careful reading the fine print. There's no way you're going to like it.
15. The trouble with bucket seats is that not everybody has the same size bucket
16. Do you realize that in about 40 years, we'll have thousands of old ladies running around with tattoos? (And RAP music will be the Golden Oldies!)
17. Money can't buy happiness: but somehow it's more comfortable to cry in a Bentley than in a Kia.
18. After a certain age, if you don't wake up aching in every joint, you are probably dead.

The Future -Time Travel

English Heritage erect plaques on houses in which famous people have lived in the past. Here, we have tracked down what is a superb example of a spoof sign.

Jacob Von Hogflume 1864 - 1909
Inventor of time travel
Lived here in 2063

This is how Jacob travels in time:

The future is here - Microsoft's Latest Mouse

 Will and Guy’s Top Twenty Choice Of Hilarious, Funny, Useless And Totally Wrong Predictions

1. What looks like a permanently high plateau. - Irving Fisher, Professor of Economics, Yale University, USA, October 16, 1929.
2. King George 111 said in 1773, that the American colonies had little stomach for revolution. UK
3. Louis Pasteur’s theory of germs is ridiculous fiction. - Pierre Pachet, Professor of Physiology at Toulouse, France 1872.
4. Airplanes are interesting toys, but they have no military value. - Marshal Ferdinand Foch, France, in 1911. [He may have been wrong in this case but at the Treaty of Versailles, 1919, which ended the 1st World War, he said accurately, ‘This is not a peace, it is only an armistice for the next 20 years.’ The 2nd World War broke out in 1939.
5. It will be years - not in my time - before a woman will become Prime Minister.- Margaret Thatcher, 1974 [Prime Minister, UK, 1979-1990]
6. It doesn't matter what he does, he will never amount to anything.- Albert Einstein’s teacher to his father, 1895.
7. Theoretically, television may be feasible, but I consider it an impossibility; a development which we should waste little time dreaming about. - Lee de Forest, 1926, inventor of the cathode ray tube.
8. In 1939, The New York Times said the problem of TV was that people had to glue their eyes to a screen, and that the average American wouldn’t have time for it.
9. I have travelled the length and breadth of this country and talked with the best people, and I can assure you that data processing is a fad that won’t last out the year. - Editor in charge of business books for Prentice Hall, 1957.
10. I think there is a world market for maybe five computers. - Thomas J. Watson, 1943, Chairman of the Board of IBM.
11. We don't need you. You haven’t got through college yet. - Hewlett-Packard’s rejection of Steve Jobs, who went on to found Apple Computers.
12. This “telephone” has too many shortcomings to be seriously considered as a means of communication. The device is inherently of no value to us. - Western Union internal memo, 1876.
13. We don't like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out. - Decca Recording Company. rejecting the Beatles, 1962.
14. Who the hell wants to hear actors talk? - H. M. Warner, Warner Brothers, 1927.
15. An official of the White Star Line, speaking of the firm's newly built flagship, the Titanic, launched in 1912, declared that the ship was unsinkable.
16. An English astronomy professor said in the early 19th century that air travel at high speed would be impossible because passengers would suffocate.
17. With over 50 foreign cars already on sale here, the Japanese auto industry isn't likely to carve out a big slice of the U.S. market. - Business Week, 1958.
18. Whatever happens, the U.S. Navy is not going to be caught napping. - Frank Knox, U.S. Secretary of the Navy, on December 4, 1941.
19. Drill for oil? You mean drill into the ground to try and find oil? You’re crazy. - Drillers who Edwin L. Drake tried to enlist to his project to drill for oil in 1859.
20. 640K ought to be enough for anybody. - Bill Gates, 1981.

Vision of The Future

• Footnote: Please send us your jokes of the future.

See more wise words, witticisms and quotes

• Funny wisdom   • Wise words   • Witticisms   • Funny thoughts to ponder   • Funny put downs

• Maturity   • Witty funny quotes   • Famous people sayings   • Wisdom sayings   • Perks for over 60s

• A funny word   • Meaning of words   • Wisdom   • Funny thought of the day   • Rules of life   • Home