The Nicest Thing About The Future
Is That It Always Starts Tomorrow

The Nicest Thing About The Future Is That It Always Starts Tomorrow
Kindly sent in by John Morris

1. There are no new sins; the old ones just get more publicity.
2. Money will buy a fine dog, but only kindness will make him wag his tail.
3. If you don't have a sense of humor, you probably don't have any sense at all.
4. Seat belts are not as confining as wheelchairs.
5. How come it takes so little time for a child who is afraid of the dark to become a teenager who wants to stay out all night?
6. Business conventions are important because they demonstrate how many people a company can operate without.
7. Why is it that at class reunions you feel younger than everyone else looks?
8. Scratch a dog and you'll find a permanent job.
9. No one has more driving ambition than the boy who wants to buy a car.

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10. Think about this ... No one ever says 'It's only a game' when his team is winning.
11. A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you're in deep water.
12. There are worse things than getting a call for a wrong number at 4 am. It could be a right number.
13. I've reached the age where the happy hour is a nap.
14. Be careful reading the fine print. There's no way you're going to like it.
15. The trouble with bucket seats is that not everybody has the same size bucket
16. Do you realize that in about 40 years, we'll have thousands of old ladies running around with tattoos? (And RAP music will be the Golden Oldies!)
17. Money can't buy happiness: but somehow it's more comfortable to cry in a Bentley than in a Kia.
18. After a certain age, if you don't wake up aching in every joint, you are probably dead.

The Future -Time Travel

English Heritage erect plaques on houses in which famous people have lived in the past. Here, we have tracked down what is a superb example of a spoof sign.

Jacob Von Hogflume 1864 - 1909
Inventor of time travel
Lived here in 2063

This is how Jacob travels in time:

The future is here - Microsoft's Latest Mouse

• Footnote: Please send us your jokes of the future.
• More good funny jokes for September

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