Funny Differences Between Genders

The Differences Between Genders

Will and Guy have discovered that the difference between men and women is not only physiological; there are many other gender differences and several of them are amusing. We say, 'Vive la différence.'

• 10 Gender Differences in Relationships
• 10 Recommendations Made By Men to Women

10 Gender Differences in Relationships

1. Bathrooms
2. Eating out
3. Nicknames
4. Arguments
5. Cats
6. Future
7. Success
8. Marriage
9. Dressing Up
10. Offspring

1) Bathrooms:

A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from Tesco.

The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. [A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.]

2) Eating out:

When the bill arrives, Russell, John and Trevor will each throw in £20, even though it's only for £32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.

When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

3) Nicknames:

If Claire, Louise and Hannah go out for lunch, they will call each other Claire, Louise and Hannah.

If Russell, John and Trevor go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Jackson, Parrot-face and TC [Top Cat - from the 1970's television cartoon series].

4) Arguments:

A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

5) Cats:

Women love cats.
Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.

6) Future:

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

7) Success:

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

8) Marriage:

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.

9) Dressing Up:

A lady will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the bins, answer the 'phone, read a book, and get the post.

A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

10) Offspring:

Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dental appointments and romances, best friends, favourite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

Men and Women Shopping!

The Difference Between Genders

Incidentally, the correct word here is indeed gender, this has everything to do with masculinity and femininity and nothing to do with sex.

10 Recommendations Made By Men to Women

1. Don't tell anyone we can't afford a new car. Tell them we don't want one.
2. Please don't drive when you're not driving.
3. When the waiter asks if everything's okay, a simple 'Yes' is fine.
4. What do you mean, "leering?" She's obstructing my view.
5. When I'm turning the wheel and the car is heading for the slip road, saying, 'Oh, this is our exit, dearest,' is not really necessary.
6. When you're not around, I belch so loudly that I even appal myself.
7. "Sports Report" starts at 5pm on a Saturday and runs for one hour. This is an excellent time for you to pay bills, put laundry in the dryer, or talk to your mother.
8. If we see each other in the morning and at night, why phone me at work?
9. You probably don't want to know what I'm thinking about.
10. Never buy a "new" brand of beer because 'it was on sale.'

Footnote:
Please send us your funny differences between genders

See more funny marriage jokes, funny stories and PowerPoint Presentations

• Funny women things   • Male or female brains   • Why women live longer   • Funny relationship jokes

• Wedding jokes   • Wedding speech jokes   • One-liners   • Happy marriage   • Funny marriage stories

• Differences between gender   • Maths of marriage   • Female Math 710   • Marriage Bureau   • Home