Washington Post's Mensa Invitational Challenge

Mensa Tests

• Washington Post's Mensa Invitational Challenge
• The Irish Mensa Test
• More funny joke stories for March

1) Washington Post's Mensa Invitational Challenge
    Researched by Alicia Moss

The challenge is to take a word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, deleting, or changing one letter, then supply a new definition.  The result is a funny Mensa test.

• Euchoria - Pleased when all the chores are done
• Paymeant: the cheque is in the post
• Obfuscage: to catch by confusing
• Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with
• Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly
• Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
• Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out
• Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period
• Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high
• Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it
• Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late
• Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.
• Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off these bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer
• Glibido: All talk and no action
• Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly
• Inclouded: added in order to obfuscate
• Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after You've accidentally walked through a spider web
• Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.

2) The Irish Mensa Test

Exercise of the brain is as important as exercise of the muscles. As we grow older, it's important that we keep mentally alert. The saying: 'If you don't use it, you will lose it', also applies to the brain. 

Seamus O'Brien had been hailed the most intelligent Irish man for three years running. He had topped such shows as Larry Gogan's 'Just a Minute Quiz' and 'Quicksilver'. It was suggested by the Irish Mensa board that he should enter into the English Mastermind Championships. He did, and won a place.  On they evening of the competition, Seamus enters from the crowd and places himself on the Leather Seat and makes himself comfortable. The lights dim and a spot light points at his face.

Magnus says, 'Seamus, What subject are you studying?'
Seamus responds, 'Irish History'.

'Very well,' says Magnus, 'Your first Question: in what year did the 'Easter Rising take Place?'
Seamus responds, 'Pass.'

'OK,' says Magnus, 'Who was the Leader of the Easter Rising?'
Seamus answers, 'Pass.'

'OK,' says Magnus, 'How long did the Easter Rising Last?'
Seamus again responds, 'Pass,'

Instantly, a voice shouts from the audience, 'Good man Seamus....tell the English nothing....'

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