Funny Oxymoron Examples

Will and Guy's Funny Examples of Oxymorons

Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms. Groucho Marx

• Funny Oxymoron Examples
• Over-the-top Oxymoron Example
• Cruel Examples of Oxymorons
• Examples of Oxymoron Phrases
• Funny Joke Requests - Examples of Oxymorons
• Funny and Strange Words
• Annoying, irritating and sometimes downright silly expressions

Oxymoron Definition

The definition of oxymoron is:-  A rhetorical figure of speech in which incongruous or contradictory terms are paired, for example, alone together, current history or boneless ribs.

Alternative oxymoron definition: One who forgets to breathe

Once alerted to funny oxymorons, you cannot help spotting them!  On hoardings in newspaper headlines where ever you look you will see an oxymoron.

Funny Oxymoron Examples

• Dry Lake
• Crash Landing
• Fuzzy Logic
• Living Dead
• Free Gift
• Numb Sensation
• Stand Down
• Metal Woods (Golfers)
• Detailed Summary
• Jumbo Shrimp, followed by Vegetarian Meatballs, and for desert, Grape Nuts.

Over-the-top Oxymoron Example

I can picture my friend 'Barking' Eddie, it's a pretty ugly sight. I see him half naked, sipping non-alcoholic beer from his plastic glass; from time to time he nibbles on his cold hotdog, which is smothered in hot chili sauce.  For pudding Eddie is having freezer burnt, white chocolate, ice cream, with a plain fudge topping.

Next week Eddie is organizing a working party for hell's angels.  This is a new tradition, they will be spending a whole half-day on the top floor of his low-rise office.  They are hoping to watch a live recording of a programme about turning green oranges into non-stick glue.

Cruel Examples of Oxymorons

• Pretty Ugly
• Punk Music
• Civil Servant
• Gourmet Pizza
• User Friendly
• Non-working Mother
• Microsoft Works
• Political Co-operation
• Work Party
• Loners Club
• Labour Party (or Conservative Party or Liberal Party)
• Silent Women
• Swiss Navy

Oxymoron is a strange word in itself.  Firstly I cannot decide which is better oxymoron or oxymorons, secondly I cannot get the syllable 'moron' out of my mind.

Examples of Oxymoron Phrases

• Stripper's Dressing Room
• Click the start button, and shut down
• First strike defence
• Former President-for-life (Haiti)
• Alone in a crowd
• Xenophobic Foreign Secretary (Xenophobic = hates strangers)
• Personalized form letter

Funny Joke Requests - Examples of Oxymorons

Here are funny requests that are often given to newbies, or as part of initiative rites for new employees.  You can picture the scenario, 'here sonny go down to the stores and ask Joe for a dozen':

• Threadless screws
• Half-round squares
• Hen's teeth
• Eel's feet
• Bags of steam
• Left-handed hammers
• Sky hooks - low cloud type
• Jars of elbow grease

Footnote:
Please send us your funny oxymoron examples

Funny and Strange Words

Reported in The Scotsman newspaper by Aura Sabadus:

Mallemaroking may not be a word that crops up often in everyday conversation, but a prestigious reference book based in Edinburgh is fighting to save it, along with other quirky entries.

The expression, which means 'carousing of seamen in ice-bound ships', is on a save list compiled by the Chambers Dictionary in an attempt to preserve linguistic heritage and to amuse Scrabblers and crossword setters. Ian Brookes, the dictionary's editor, said the publication ' resisted the temptation to toss words out, even if that meant adding more pages' .

He added: 'Some of the words have a certain relish about them and it would be sad to lose them. The Chambers Dictionary is one of the few reference books to preserve such words.'

Mr Brookes said rare words were often looked up by people drawing up family trees.

Also on the save list are jobernowl (blockhead), logodaedalus (someone skilled in the manipulative use of words), incompossible (incapable of co-existing) and supernaculum (to the last drop).  But the new edition, will include new words such as 'stooze' - to borrow money at a cheap rate.

Annoying, irritating and sometimes downright silly expressions added by Will and Guy:

• Ordinary people. Who is ordinary? Who is not ordinary?
• Zero tolerance
• I had no choice
• In all honesty
• Abstinence
• Bipartisan
• As we speak
• Arguably
• Level playing field
• Someone once said [often followed by an obscure quotation]
• Just doing my job
• Have a nice day
• Hindsight is 20/20
• Don't go there
• I'm good

• More of Will and Guy's best clean jokes for February

See more funny English words and phrases

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