Funny Put Downs
Funny 'Put downs' (Put downs by the famous)
Have you ever found yourself lost for words only to replay the conversation in your mind later and think, 'Now I wish I had said that!' ? The French have a phrase for it: L' Esprit d'escalier - 'The spirit that passes on the staircase'.
Some people have a gift that allows them to respond to other people remarkably quickly and often with humour.
so clean out here. [Los Angeles]
I liked your opera. Perhaps I will set it to music: Mozart
About a play at the
Blackadder to his servant Baldrick taken from the TV series:
God is supposed to have made man in his own image. It would be a great shock to Christians everywhere if God looked anything like you, Baldrick.
Funny Put Downs from comedians who are being heckled on stage:
a) Comedy is my job. you're interrupting; do you want me to come round your work tomorrow and hide your broom?
b) Isn't it a school night?
c) Don't clap on your own; someone will throw you a fish.
d) Hello... what have you come as?
e) Classic audience reply
From the Armed Services References:
a) He would be out of his depth in a car park puddle.
b) A room temperature IQ.
c) This young lady has delusions of adequacy.
d) She sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.
When Gandhi was studying law at the University College of London, a white professor, whose last name was Wilson, disliked him intensely and always displayed prejudice and animosity towards him.
Also, because Gandhi never lowered his head when addressing him, as he expected ... there were always "arguments" and confrontations.
One day, Professor Wilson was having lunch at the dining room of the University, and Gandhi came along with his tray and sat next to the professor. The professor said, "Mr Gandhi, you do not understand. A pig and a bird do not sit together to eat."
Gandhi looked at him as a parent would a rude child and calmly replied, "You do not worry professor. I'll fly away," and he went and sat at another table.
Professor Wilson, reddened with rage, decided to take revenge on the next test paper, but Gandhi responded brilliantly to all questions. Professor Wilson, unhappy and frustrated, asked him the following question. "Mr Gandhi, if you were walking down the street and found a package, and within one was a bag of wisdom and another bag with a lot of money, which one would you take?"
Without hesitating, Gandhi responded,"The one with the money, of course."
Professor Wilson, smiling sarcastically said, "I, in your place, would have taken the wisdom, don't you think?"
Gandhi shrugged indifferently and responded,"Each one takes what he doesn't have."
Professor Wilson, by this time was fit to be tied. So great was his anger that he wrote on Gandhi's exam sheet the word "Idiot" and gave it to Gandhi. Gandhi took the exam sheet and sat down at his desk trying very hard to remain calm while he contemplated his next move.
A few minutes later, Gandhi got up, went to the professor and said to him in a dignified but sarcastically polite tone, "Professor Wilson, you signed the sheet, but you did not give me the grade."
[Gandhi put-down story kindly sent in by Dave Foley]
He - Can I buy you a drink?
He - Go on, don't
be shy. Ask
7 General Put Downs:
Gossip columnist Earl Wilson: 'Have you ever been mistaken for a man on the telephone?'
Tullulah: 'No, have you?
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