Funny Put Downs
The French have a phrase for it: L'Esprit d'escalier

Funny 'Put downs' (Put downs by the famous)

Have you ever found yourself lost for words only to replay the conversation in your mind later and think, 'Now I wish I had said that!' ? The French have a phrase for it: L' Esprit d'escalier - 'The spirit that passes on the staircase'.

Some people have a gift that allows them to respond to other people remarkably quickly and often with humour.

• Funny Put Downs - L'Esprit d'escalier examples
• Funny Put Downs from comedians
• Boy/Girl:
• A miscellany of funny put downs:

Funny Put Downs - L'Esprit d'escalier examples

It's so clean out here. [Los Angeles]
That's because they don't throw their garbage away. They turn it into television shows: Woody Allen

I liked your opera. Perhaps I will set it to music: Mozart

About a play at the theatre:
There was a good bit about half way through when we all ate ice-cream.

Blackadder to his servant Baldrick taken from the TV series:
Ah - it's time for us to meet our maker - in my case God, in your case, God knows.

God is supposed to have made man in his own image. It would be a great shock to Christians everywhere if God looked anything like you, Baldrick.

Funny Put Downs from comedians who are being heckled on stage:

a) Comedy is my job. you're interrupting; do you want me to come round your work tomorrow and hide your broom?

b) Isn't it a school night?

c) Don't clap on your own; someone will throw you a fish.

d) Hello... what have you come as?

e) Classic audience reply
    Comedian 'Who the **** do you think you are walking out?'
    Member of the Audience: 'Actually, I am a talent scout'.

From the Armed Services references:

a) He would be out of his depth in a car park puddle.

b) A room temperature IQ.

c) This young lady has delusions of adequacy.

d) She sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.

Boy/Girl:

He - Can I buy you a drink?
She - Actually I'd rather have the money.

He - Go on, don't be shy. Ask me out.
She - Okay, get out.

7 General Put Downs:

1. Well, this day was a total waste of make-up.
2. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
3. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
4. How many times do I have to flush before you go away?
5. Nice perfume.  Must you marinate in it?
6. Not the brightest crayon/tool in the box now, are we?
7. Is it time for your medication or mine?

A Miscellany of Funny Put Downs:

• What You've got to remember about Michael is that under that cold professional Germanic exterior beats a heart of stone: Damon Hill on Michael Schumacher
• He was a good man, but did not know how to paint: El Greco on Michelangelo
• Four Hands
  Coach: 'Use your FOREHAND'
  Player: 'OK, but what about my other three hands?'
• You always knew precisely where you stood with him because he always let you down: David Niven on Errol Flynn [and they were friends]
• If I were as fat as Marilyn Monroe I'd kill myself: Elizabeth Hurley on Marilyn Monroe
• She's sooo ugly: Anna Kournikova on Elizabeth Hurley

  ∞

• There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full: Henry Kissinger
• He has a face like a Saint - A Saint Bernard: Anon
• She's so stupid she returns bowling balls because they've got holes in them: Joan Rivers on Bo Derek
• He could start a row in an empty house: Sir Alex Ferguson on footballer Dennis Wise.
• Better a witty fool than a foolish wit: Shakespeare
• He hasn't just lost the plot, he's lost the whole library: Melody Maker (about Michael Jackson, 1992)
• Am reserving two tickets for you for my premiere. Come and bring a friend - if you have one:
  George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill.
• Impossible to be present for the first performance. Will attend second - if there is one:
  Churchill's reply

Footnote:
Please send us your l'Esprit d'escalier (Stairway wit)

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