How to Gauge a Railway

Railway Stories

• How to Gauge a Railway
• Space Shuttle Connection
• Fantasy Electric Train

How to Gauge a Railway

The US standard railroad gauge (distance between the rails) is 4 feet 8 ^1/2  inches. That's an exceedingly odd number. Why was that gauge used?  Because that's the way they built them in England, and English expatriates built the US Railroads.

Why did the English build them like that?  The answer is because the first rail lines were built by the same people who built the pre-railroad tramways, and that's the gauge they used. Why did 'they' use that gauge then?

Because the people who built the tramways used the same jigs and tools that they used for building wagons, which used that wheel spacing.

So, why did the wagons have that particularly odd wheel spacing? Well, if they tried to use any other spacing, the wagon wheels would break on some of the old, long distance roads in England, because that's the spacing of the wheel ruts. So who built those old rutted roads?

Imperial Rome built the first long distance roads in Europe for their legions. The roads have been used ever since. And the ruts in the roads? Roman war chariots formed the initial ruts, which everyone else had to match for fear of destroying their wagon wheels. Since the chariots were made for (or by) Imperial Rome, they were all alike in the matter of wheel spacing.

So the United States standard railroad gauge of 4 feet 8 ^1/2  inches derives from the original specification for an Imperial Roman war chariot. Specifications and bureaucracies live forever.

So the next time you are handed a specification and wonder what horse's arse came up with it, you may be exactly right, because the Imperial Roman war chariots were made just wide enough to accommodate the back ends of two war horses.

Space Shuttle Connection

Now the twist to the story….... There's an interesting extension to the story about railroad gauges and horses' behinds. When we see a Space Shuttle sitting on its launch pad, there are two big booster rockets attached to the sides of the main fuel tank. These are solid rocket boosters, or SRBs. The SRBs are made by Thiokol at their factory in Utah. The engineers who designed the SRBs might have preferred to make them a bit fatter, but the SRBs had to be shipped by train from the factory to the launch site.

The railroad line from the factory happens to run through a tunnel in the mountains. The SRBs had to fit through that tunnel. The tunnel is slightly wider than the railroad track, and the railroad track is about as wide as two horses' behinds. So, a major design feature of what is arguably the world's most advanced transportation system was determined over two thousand years ago by the width of a horse's arse.

Fantasy Electric Train - Paris to Beijing

• More funny online stories for December

Funny train stories, jokes and videos:

● Funny Train Announcements   ● Funny Train Stories   ● Bangkok Train   ● Indian Railway

● Railway Gauges   ● All Tickets Please   ● Kung Fu Train   ● Wrong Train   ● Home