Can I have some Irish Sausages Please?

Sausage Jokes that made Will and Guy Laugh

• Irish Sausages Please
• Smoked Sausage
• A good reason to give up smoking
• Little old lady

Irish Sausages Please

'Can I have some Irish sausages please?' Asked Seamus.  I want to make a proper Irish hot-dog.

The shop assistant looked at him and enquired, 'Are you Irish?'

'If I asked you for Italian sausage, would you ask me if I was Italian? Or, if I asked for German bratwurst, would you ask me if I was German? Or if I asked you for a Kosher hot dog, would you ask me if I was Jewish? Or, if I asked you for a Taco, would you ask me if I was Mexican? Would you, eh? Would you?'

The assistant replied, 'Well...er.... no' .

'And if I asked you for some Bourbon whiskey, would you ask me if I was American? What about Danish bacon, would you ask me if I was Danish?'

'Well, I probably wouldn't , 'came the response.

Self-righteously, Seamus demanded, 'Well, all right then, why did you ask me if I'm Irish, just because I asked for Irish Sausages?'

'Because you're in a blooming shoe shop', replied the assistant.

See more Irish Jokes here

Smoked Sausage

A German lorry driver set fire to his cab after deciding to cook himself some sausages while driving. Walter Reckling, 46, kept the small gas cooker for roadside use but decided to use it on the road as he was late with a delivery.

He was cooking two sausages while travelling past Niederwuerschnitz in Saxony, Germany, when the cooker toppled over. It set fire to the seat which in turn set fire to the cab of the vehicle. Reckling was treated for smoke inhalation at a local hospital where he was also found to have been three times over the legal alcohol limit reported Ananova online.

A good reason to give up smoking

A man in Denver, taking a break from painting his home, managed to burn his house down after smoking a cigarette reports The Los Angeles Times.

Stevie Spencer, tried to put out the cigarette in a bowl which he had placed on the table prior to lighting.'I forgot paint thinner was in the bowl, 'Spencer said, 'I thought it was water.' The fire from the paint thinner ignited some papers nearby and spread rapidly.

Spence reportedly suffered minor injuries but his house was destroyed. Fire Chief Jay Flynn said the that house was too far gone to save it when fire-fighters arrived.

Little old lady

While in the queue to withdraw cash from the 'hole in the wall' [ATM] I was asked by an old lady if I would check her balance.  So I pushed her over!

• Footnote: (Aunty would not like it!)
• More clean jokes for June

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