'Can I have some Irish sausages please?'
Asked Seamus. I want to make a proper Irish hot-dog.
The shop assistant looked at him and enquired, 'Are you Irish?'
'If I asked you for Italian sausage, would you ask me if I was Italian? Or, if I
asked for German bratwurst, would you ask me if I was German? Or if I asked you for a Kosher hot dog, would you ask me if I was Jewish? Or, if I asked you for a Taco, would you ask me if I was Mexican? Would
you, eh? Would you?'
The assistant replied, 'Well...er.... no'
.
'And if I asked you for some Bourbon whiskey, would you ask me if I was American? What about Danish bacon, would you ask me if I was
Danish?'
'Well, I probably wouldn't,' came the response.
Self-righteously, Seamus demanded, 'Well, all right then, why did you ask me if I'm Irish, just because I asked for Irish Sausages?'
'Because you're in a blooming shoe shop', replied the assistant.
A German lorry driver set fire
to his cab after deciding to cook himself some sausages while driving. Walter Reckling, 46, kept the small gas cooker for roadside use but decided to use it on the road as he was late with a delivery.
He
was cooking two sausages while travelling past Niederwuerschnitz in Saxony, Germany, when the cooker toppled over. It set fire to the seat which in turn set fire to the cab of the vehicle. Reckling was treated
for smoke inhalation at a local hospital where he was also found to have been three times over the legal alcohol limit reported Ananova online.
Here to the right is a bicycle made out of sausages. It was
photographed outside one of the stands at Polagra, an international trade
fair in Poznan, Poland.
A 213 metre long and weighing some 1,256-kilogram horse casing sausage is
dried in Yining of Northwest China's Xinjiang Uygur autonomous region.
Photos - Xinhua
A Kazak horse meat butcher made the sausage with casings from 30 horses
and thigh meat from another eight 5-year-old horses.
§
It's a Dog's Life - For an Irishman
O'Leary went to London and found himself in the underground late one
night. Seeing a notice "DOGS MUST BE CARRIED ON THE ESCALATOR", he moaned to
himself, 'And where am I going to find a dog at this hour of the night?'
O'Neill was suffering from pains in his knees, so he visited Doctor
Cullen.
'You're suffering from a disease that we medical experts call "kneeitis",
diagnosed Doctor Cullen. 'Take it easy for a month or so and above all don't
climb any stairs. That puts a terrible strain on the knees.'
A month later O'Neill returned and after a brief examination was found to
have recovered completely. 'Can I climb the stairs now Doctor?'
'Certainly,' replied the Doctor Cullen.
'Thank Heavens,' uttered O'Neill, 'I was getting a bit fed up with
climbing up the drainpipe every time I wanted to go to the toilet.'
A man in Denver, taking a break from painting his home, managed to burn his house down after smoking a cigarette reports The Los Angeles Times.
Stevie Spencer, tried to put out the cigarette in a bowl
which he had placed on the table prior to lighting. 'I forgot paint thinner was in the bowl, 'Spencer said, 'I thought it was water.'
The fire from the paint thinner ignited some papers nearby and spread
rapidly.
Spence reportedly suffered minor injuries but his house was destroyed. Fire Chief Jay Flynn said the that house was too far gone to save it when fire-fighters arrived.
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