Sayings that make Will and Guy stop and think

Sayings that make Will and Guy stop and think

'Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.'
George Carlin

We do on stage things that are supposed to happen off. Which is a kind of integrity, if you look on every exit as being an entrance somewhere else.
Tom Stoppard

Any fool can tell the truth, but it requires a man of some sense to know how to lie well.
Samuel Butler

Facts are stubborn things, but statistics are more pliable.
Mark Twain

Politeness, n. The most acceptable hypocrisy.
Ambrose Bierce

The price one pays for pursuing any profession or calling is an intimate knowledge of its ugly side.
James Baldwin

The least of learning is done in the classrooms.
Thomas Merton (So keep reading our jokes!)

Knowledge comes, but wisdom lingers.
Alfred Lord Tennyson

Art is science made clear.
Jean Cocteau

The best way to become acquainted with a subject is to write a book about it.
Benjamin Disraeli

The follies which a man regrets most, in his life, are those which he didn't commit when he had the opportunity.
Helen Rowland

Politics is not the art of the possible. It consists in choosing between the disastrous and the unpalatable.
John Kenneth Galbraith

The ability to delude yourself may be an important survival tool.
Jane Wagner

Another batch of sayings from the famous

Remember that as a teenager you are at the last stage of your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you.
Fran Lebowitz

You don't stop laughing because you grow old. You grow old because you stop laughing.
Michael Pritchard

Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.
George Santayana

Nothing is as simple as we hope it will be.
Jim Horning

No good deed goes unpunished.
Clare Booth Luce (also Oscar Wilde)

One man that has a mind and knows it can always beat ten men who haven't and don't.
George Bernard Shaw

Nothing fixes a thing so intensely in the memory as the wish to forget it.
Michel de Montaigne

If you haven't found something strange during the day, it hasn't been much of a day.
John A. Wheeler

• More clean jokes and one-liners for May

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