Early one morning, a mother went in to wake up her son.
'Wake up, son. It's
time to go to school' 'But why, Mom? I don't
want to go.'
'Give me two reasons why you don't
want to go.'
'Well, the kids
hate me for one, and the teachers hate me, too!'
'Oh, that's
no reason not to go to school. Come on now and get ready.'
'Give me two reasons why I should go to school.'
'Well, for one, you're 52 years
old. And for another, you're the Head teacher!'
Back to School:- Ten of The Best
Funny, Clean Jokes and
Thoughts
I have never let my schooling interfere with my
education. - Mark Twain
My school days were the happiest days of my life; which
should give you some indication of the misery I've endured over the past
twenty-five years. - Paul Merton
I took a test in Existentialism. I left all the answers
blank and got 100. - Woody Allen
My school was so tough the school newspaper had an
obituary section. - Norm Crosby
Smartness runs in my family. When I went to school I
was so smart my teacher was in my class for five years.
I'm not going to buy my kids an encyclopaedia. Let them
walk to school like I did. - Yogi Berra
In elementary school, in case of fire you have to line
up quietly in a single file line from the smallest to the tallest. What
is the logic? Do tall people burn slower? - Warren Hutcherson
You learn something every day if you pay attention. -
Ray LeBlond
In youth we learn; in age we understand -
Von Ebner-Eschenbach
If there were no schools to take the children away from
home part of the time, the insane asylums would be filled with mothers.
- Edgar W. Howe
¢
Funny Back to School Stories and Jokes
Holidays Are Over The summer holiday was over and
young Jack returned to Wicor school.
Only two days later his teacher phoned his mother to tell her that Jack
was misbehaving.
'Wait a minute,' mother said. 'I had Jack with me for six weeks and I
never called you once when he misbehaved.
School Learning Nathan comes home from his first day
at school. Mother asks, 'What did you learn today?' He replies, 'Not
enough. I have to go back tomorrow.'
Mum: How did you find school today? Youngster: I
simply hopped off the bus - and there it was.
New Teacher? Mia: I think we need a new teacher.
Mum: Why is that? Mia: Our teacher doesn't know anything, she keeps
asking us for the answers.
Doing Their Homework! When Dad came home he was astonished to see Vic sitting on a horse,
writing something. 'What on earth are you doing there?' he asked.
'Well, the teacher told us to write an essay on our favourite animal.'
Answered Vic, 'That's why I'm here and that's why Sara's sitting in the
goldfish bowl.'
A 106-year-old Norwegian woman received an offer from local authorities
for free bus rides to the school where she is supposed to attend next autumn
Will and Guy have learned. Ingeborg Thuen, born in 1897 when the Klondyke
gold rush was going strong, actually started school just before she turned
six in 1903. Computers in the Os township near Bergen, Norway, read the '97
of her birth year as 1997, meaning she would be starting the first grade the
next autumn.
She welcomed the free ride, saying that the last time she started school,
she had to walk for an hour every morning. The letter from the township also
encouraged Ingeborg's parents to list the children she would like to have in
her class.
'Since I can already read, maybe I should skip a couple grades,' she
joked to us.
A head teacher is making his rounds of the school when he hears a terrible commotion coming from one of the classrooms. He rushes in and spots one boy, taller than the others, who seems to be making the most
noise.
He seizes the lad, drags him to the hall, and tells him to wait there until he is excused. Returning to the classroom, the head teacher restores order and lectures the class for half an hour about the
importance of good behaviour.
'Now,' he says, 'are there any questions?'
One girl stands up timidly. 'Please sir,' she asks, 'may we have our teacher back?'
Please excuse Susie, she has been sick and under the doctor.
Please excuse Barry for being. It was his father's
fault.
Cedric
will not be in school cus he has an acre in his side.
Two Stories from the Music Department
Beethoven wrote music even though he was deaf. In fact, he was so deaf he wrote loud music. He took long
walks in the forest even when everyone was calling for him. Beethoven expired in 1827 and later died for this.
Johann Bach wrote a great many musical compositions and
had a large number of children. In between he practised on an old spinster, which he kept up in his attic.
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