How to Speak New Zealand

These examples of 'How to speak New Zealand' were sent to Will by an old school friend named Paul Garrod, who emigrated to New Zealand from England a while ago.

What helped me to understand New Zealand speak, was to read each item out loud:

Peck - to fill a suitcase
Min - male of the species
Milburn - capital of Victoria
Pigs - for hanging out washing with
Pug - large animal with a curly tail
Nin tin dough - computer game
Munner stroney - soup
Mess Kara - eye makeup
McKennock - person who fixes cars
Mere - Mayor
Leather - foam produced from soap
Lift - departed
Kiri Pecker - famous Australian businessman
Kittle crusps - potato chips
Ken's - Cairns
Jumbo - pet name for someone called Jim
Jungle Bills - Christmas carol
Inner me - enemy
Guess - vapour
Fush - marine creatures
Fitter cheney - type of pasta
Ever cardeau - avocado

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More Examples of: How to Speak New Zealand

Fear hear - blonde
Ear - mix of nitrogen and oxygen

»
Ear roebucks - exercise at the gym
Duffy cult - not easy
Day old chuck - very young poultry
Bug hut - popular recording
Bun button - been bitten by insect
Beard - a place to sleep
Sucks Peck - Half a dozen beers
Ear New Zulland - an extinct airline
Beers - large savage animals found in U.S. forests
Amejen - visualise
One Doze - well known computer program
Brudge - structure spanning a stream
Tin - one more than nine
Iggs Ecktly - Precisely
Earplane - large flying machine
Beggage Chucken - place to leave your suitcase at the earport
Sivven Sucks Sivven - large Boeing aircraft
Sivven Four Sivven - larger Boeing aircraft
Cuds - children
Pits - domestic animals

Come on New Zealand, tell us Brits how we sound to you.

Perfect Woman Competition in New Zealand

The owner of a bar in Wanaka is holding a competition to find the 'perfect woman', the prize is $NZ1,000 and tickets for a rugby game.

Amongst the tasks the aspirants will be expected to undertake are:

Back a trailer load of hay
Change a car tyre
Clear a pool table
Darn a sock
Lift a ram into shearing position

As reported in the Sun newspaper in Australia

♦

Speak Australish

Floordrobe - Someone who spreads their clothes around the bedroom floor
Fitness centre - A place where they leave no stern untoned
Salad dodger - Fatso
Tanorexia - Devoted to getting a suntan

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How to Speak New Zealand