A bus load of tourists arrives at Runnymede*. They gather around the guide who says, 'This is the spot where the barons forced King John to sign the Magna Carta.'
A fellow at the front of
the crowd asks, 'When did that happen?'
'1215, 'answers the guide.
The man looks at his watch and says, 'Gee whiz - Just missed it by a half hour.'
Footnote:
*The Runneymede meadows are on the banks of the Thames, in the county of Berkshire, England. Fortunately, the land is now owned and preserved by the National Trust.
Teacher: 'Jimmy........ who was Anne
Boleyn?' Jimmy: 'She was a flat-iron.'
Teacher: 'What on earth do you mean?'
Jimmy: 'Well, it says here in the history book, 'Henry VIII, having disposed of Catherine of Aragon, pressed his suit with
Anne Boleyn.'
Archaeologist
An archaeologist is a person whose career lies in
ruins.
Mary-Ann was absent December 11-16, because she had a fever, sore throat, headache and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever and sore throat, her brother had a low grade fever and ached all
over. I wasn't
the best either, sore throat and fever. There must be something going around, her father even got hot last night.
Please excuse little Jimmy for not being in school yesterday. His father is
gone and I could not get him ready because I was in bed with the doctor.
The greatest writer of the Renaissance was William Shakespeare. He was born in the year 1564, supposedly on his birthday. He never made much money and is famous only
because of his plays. He wrote tragedies, comedies, and hysterectomies, all in Islamic pentameter. Romeo and Juliet are an example of a heroic couplet.
Writing at the same time as Shakespeare was Miguel
Cervantes. He wrote Donkey Hote. The next great author was John Milton. Milton wrote Paradise Lost. Then his wife died and he wrote Paradise Regained.
Julius Caesar extinguished himself on the battlefields of Gaul. The Ids of March murdered him because they thought he was going to be made king. Dying, he gasped out: 'And you, you brute'
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