Will Says Funny Guidance for
Women. Guy Says Guidance for Funny Women
Sage advice for girls from 8 to 80. Help in deciding what's important
and what to aspirations to cultivate. Also humorous guidance on what
to look for in men at different ages.
Will Says: Funny Advice for Women. Guy Says: Advice for Funny Women
Aspire to be Barbie - That girl has everything.
If the shoe fits - Buy them in every colour.
Take life with a pinch of salt - A wedge of lime, and a shot of
tequila.
In need of a support group? - Cocktail hour with the girls.
Go on the 30 day diet.- I'm on it and so far I've lost 15 days.
When life gets you down - Just put on your big girl panties and deal
with it.
Let your greatest fear be that there is no PMS and this is just your
personality.
I know I'm in my own little world, but it's OK. - They know me here.
Lead me not into temptation. - I can find it myself.
Don't get your knickers in a knot. - It solves nothing and makes you
walk funny.
When life gives you lemons in 2010 - Turn it into lemonade then mix
it with vodka.
Remember where ever there is a good looking, sweet, single or
married man - There is probably some woman tired of his behaviour.
Keep your chin up: Only the first 40 years of parenthood are the
hardest.
If it has Tyres or Testicles - it's going to give you trouble.
By the time a women realizes her mother was right: She has a
daughter who thinks she's wrong.
"Good friends are like stars - You don't always see them, but you know
they are always there". "Remember yesterday. Dream about tomorrow. - But
live for today".
Now smile and send to any girl wasting time at work; suffering from a
hangover; or just suffering from life; or has anything going on and might
need a reason to smile.
Will and Guy's 10 Funny
Thoughts About Women
What is better than wisdom? Woman. And what is better than a good woman?
Nothing.
Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition.
A woman
knows how to keep quiet when she is in the right, whereas a man, when he is
in the right, will keep on talking.
Woman is a miracle of divine
contradictions.
Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes
want a pickup truck, and end up with a station wagon.
If women didn't
exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.
One of the most
difficult things in the world is to convince a woman that even a bargain
costs money.
I like my whisky old and my women young.
Most women are
not always as young as they are painted.
What a strange thing man is; and
what a stranger thing woman.
Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a
neighbouring kingdom. The monarch could have killed him but was moved by
Arthur's youth and ideals. So, the monarch offered him his freedom, as long
as he could answer a very difficult question. Arthur would have a year to
figure out the answer and, if after a year, he still had no answer, he would
be put to death.
The question? What do women really want? Such a question would perplex
even the most knowledgeable man, and to young Arthur, it seemed an
impossible query; but, since it was better than death, he accepted the
monarch's proposition to have an answer by year's end.
Arthur returned to his kingdom and began to poll everyone: the princess,
the priests, the wise men and even the court jester. He spoke with everyone,
but no one could give him a satisfactory answer. Many people advised him to
consult the old witch, for only she would have the answer. But the price
would be high; as the witch was famous throughout the kingdom for the
exorbitant prices she charged.
The last day of the year arrived and Arthur had no choice but to talk to
the witch. She agreed to answer the question, but he would have to agree to
her price first. The old witch wanted to marry Sir Lancelot, the most
noble of the Knights of the Round Table* and Arthur's closest friend. Young
Arthur was horrified. She was hunchbacked and hideous, had only one tooth,
smelled like sewage and made obscene noises. He had never encountered such a
repugnant creature in all his life.
Arthur refused to force his friend to marry her and endure such a
terrible burden; but Lancelot, learning of the proposal, spoke with Arthur.
He said nothing was too big of a sacrifice compared to Arthur's life and the
preservation of the Round Table. Hence, a wedding was proclaimed and the
witch answered Arthur's question thus: 'What a woman really wants,' she
answered, 'is to be in charge of her own life.'
∞
Everyone in the kingdom instantly knew that the witch had uttered a great
truth and that Arthur's life would be spared and so it was, the neighbouring
monarch granted Arthur his freedom and Lancelot and the witch had a
wonderful wedding.
The honeymoon hour approached and Lancelot, steeling himself for a
horrific experience, entered the bedroom; what a sight awaited him. There
was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen before him. The astounded
Lancelot asked what had happened and the beauty replied that since he had
been so kind to her when she appeared as a witch, she would henceforth, be
her horrible deformed self only half the time and the beautiful maiden the
other half.
Which would he prefer? Beautiful during the day....or night?
Lancelot pondered the predicament. During the day, a beautiful woman to
show off to his friends, but at night, in the privacy of his castle, an old
witch? Or, would he prefer having a hideous witch during the day, but by
night, a beautiful woman for him to enjoy wondrous intimate moments?
What would YOU do?
What Lancelot chose is below, but....make YOUR
choice before you scroll down below.
Noble Lancelot said that he would allow her to make the choice
herself.
Upon hearing this, she announced that she would be beautiful all the time
because he had respected her enough to let her be in charge of her own life.
Now .....what is the moral to this story?
Scroll down
The moral is: "If you don't let a woman have her own
way....things are going to get ugly"
Author unknown; kindly sent in by Maggie Nutt.
* At the Great Hall in Winchester, England, [the ancient capital city]
there is a round table hanging on the wall at one end of the hall. This
table actually dates from the Middle Ages, and has been repainted many times
since then. The names of the knights are written around the table edge.
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