There was a heat for the 200m Olympic women's
breaststroke, and the eight women who entered the race were named Emily
(Aus),
Maggie (Nz), Liz (Aus), Jean (USA), Alice (Can), Wanda (Ger), Tina (Rom) and Rose
(England).
After approximately 2 minutes and 10 seconds, Emily won the race, 5
seconds later, Maggie was declared the second place finisher. Nearly 40
minutes later, Rose finally completed the race.
When the reporters asked why it took her so long to complete the race,
she replied, 'I don't want to sound like I'm a sore loser, but I think those
two other girls were using their arms.'
The Republic of China - back in the Olympic Games
for the first time.
And the line up for the final of the Women's 400
metres hurdles includes three Russians, two East Germans, a Pole, a
Swede and a Frenchman. (Guy had to read the last word again
FrenchMAN?)
That's the fastest time ever run - but it's not as
fast as the world record.
Old Olympic skiers never die. They just go
downhill.
Paralympics: 'They're making great strides with their swimming'.
The late start for this final is due to the time.
Watch the time - it gives you an indication of just how fast
they are running (Ron Pickering)
Basketball analyst: "He dribbles a lot and the opposition does
not like it. In fact you can see it all over their faces".
You won't win silver medals at the Olympic
Games unless you're the very, very best. - Pat Glenn, weightlifting
commentator.
10. Colemanballs In the 1976 Montreal
Olympics, Cuba's
Alberto Juantorena won the 400 and 800m gold medal. Will and Guy remember the
first Colemanballs.
While describing the 800m race David Coleman said: 'And there goes Juantorena
down the back straight, opening his legs and showing his class'.
¢
More Funny Olympic Jokes
Two Englishmen
Meet a German Tourist at the London Olympics
A German competitor was lost, and wanted directions to the Olympic village in
Stratford, London. He was standing outside East Ham tube station when he saw two
lads walking by so he stops them and asks, 'Entschuldigung, koennen Sie Deutsch sprechen?'
The two lads look at each other blankly and stare back at the German.
'Excusez-moi, parlez vous Français?'
He tries.
The two continue to stare.
'Parlare Italiano?'
Still absolutely no response from
the two lads.
'Hablan ustedes Espanol?'
The London lads remain totally silent.
The German Olympian walks off extremely
disappointed and downhearted that he had not been understood. One of
the boys turns to the second and says, 'You know, maybe we should learn a
foreign language!'
'Why?' says the youth, 'That German guy knew four languages, and it didn't do
him any good!'
I was not talented enough to run and
smile at the same time - Emil Zatopek, champion Czechoslovakian distance
runner, when asked about unusual facial expression when running.
The
swimming and diving were held in part of the old moat ... it was the
clammiest, darkest place and the water was frigid. It looked bottomless
and black - Alice Landon, American Diver, on facilities at the
Antwerp Games of 1920.
One shouldn't be afraid to lose; this is
sport. One day you win; another day you lose. Of course, everyone wants
to be the best. This is normal. This is what sport is about. This is why
I love it. - Oksana Baiul, Olympic Gold Medalist
All I've done is
run fast. I don't see why people should make much fuss about that -
Dutch sprinter Fanny Blankers-Koen, who won four gold medals at the 1948
Games
To anyone who has started out on a long campaign believing
that the gold medal was destined for him, the feeling when, all of a
sudden, the medal has gone somewhere else is quite indescribable. -
Sebastian Coe, after losing the 800m final in 1980.
Newspaper headlines before, during and after Jamaican-born Canadian
sprinter, Ben Johnson, was found to have used illegal steroids.
First Headline: 'Canadian Sprinter Wins Gold in 100 Metres.'
Second Headline: 'Jamaican-Canadian Athlete Tests Positive for
Steroids.'
Third Headline: 'Jamaican Athlete Stripped of Gold Medal.'
Will and Guy's Funny and Interesting Olympic Trivia
Gold medals haven't been pure gold in years. The 1912 Olympics
was the last time that gold medals were solid gold. Ever since,
they've been silver with gold plating.
The first Paralympic Games was held in 1948. The name
"Paralympics" comes from the words "Parallel" and "Olympics".
In 1900, in France, winners got paintings instead of gold
medals. Gold, silver and bronze medals weren't given out until the
third modern Olympics in 1904. The French gave the winners paintings
because they believed they were more valuable.
The Beijing Olympics, 2008, began at exactly 8:08:08 PM on
8/8/08 because the number 8 is considered lucky in China.
In order for a sport to be considered for inclusion in the
Olympics it must be 'widely practiced' by men in at least 75
countries and on four continents, and by women in at least 40
countries and on three continents. The reason the extra yards
were added to the running distance of the marathon to make the total
length a rather strange figure of 26 miles and 385 yards was because
of the rather whimsical demand of Queen Alexandra of Great Britain,
who demanded, in 1908, that the marathon should end below the royal
box at London's White City Stadium, which added the extra 385 yards.
The First Marathon: In 490 BCE, Pheidippides, a Greek soldier,
ran from Marathon to Athens [about 25 miles] to inform the Athenians
the outcome of the battle with invading Persians. The distance was
filled with hills and other obstacles; thus Pheidippides arrived in
Athens exhausted and with bleeding feet. After telling the
townspeople of the Greeks' success in the battle, Pheidippides fell
to the ground dead. In 1896, at the first modern Olympic Games, held
a race of approximately the same length in commemoration of
Pheidippides.
Apparently, Will and Guy have learned that the athletes produce
as much as two million pounds of dirty laundry. It would take a
family of four, 264 years to complete this wash.
The Berlin Games in 1936 were the first games to be televised.
It wasn't until 1900 that women were allowed to participate in the
Olympic Games.
In ancient times big sunhats were banned in the crowd, because
they blocked other spectators' view.
The running track was 183m
[200 yards] long. The Greeks called this measurement a stade - from
which we get the word "stadium".
In ancient times married women were prohibited from watching the
Games under penalty of death. But in 2012 ....
New Olympic Event
London 2012 Introduces a New Race The 400m Women's Vacuum Race --->
Former President Bush gave a
rousing inspirational speech yesterday to the USA Olympics Fencing team.
Bush told the athletes, 'Now go out there and build that fence.' - Conan
O'Brien
Nastia Luikin won the gold in the woman's all-around event in
gymnastics. The competition was nasty, but she was Nastia.
Why isn't sun tanning an Olympic sport? Because the best you can ever
get is bronze.
A javelin thrower called Vicky Found the grip of her javelin
sticky. When it came to the throw She couldn't let go Making
judging the distance quite tricky.
Heard on the BBC News: 'The Olympic Countdown Clock has stopped, I
think it's a wind-up.'
See more from BBC Olympics
The very first recorded Ancient Olympic Games took place in 776
BC. The event was a 'stadion' race - a foot race equivalent to a
190m or 208yard dash. The winner was a humble baker from the Greek
city state of Elis named Coroebus [ Koroibos]. For the first 13
games, the stadion race was the only competition. At the 14th
Ancient Olympic Games, a double race was added.
American swimmer Michael Phelps holds both the record for most
gold medals won in a year, eight, and most career gold medals with
14.
The early Olympic Games included competitions for trumpeters.
Rope Climbing took place in the following years: 1908 1924, 1932. Rudimentary gym skills were all it took to win
Olympic gold in the early 20th century it appears, as this event
basically consisted of shimmying up a rope.
Club Swinging occurred in 1904 and 1932. This consisted of
swinging a club festooned with ribbons around your body and head.
Strange but true.
Tug-of-War between 1900 -1920. Indeed this trickiest of
sports favoured by rather overweight beer drinkers in pubs was
actually considered an Olympic event. We hear competitive tug-of-war
gave way to another short-lived event: the 40m three-legged race.
Live Pigeon Shooting took place in the 1900 Paris Games. Over
300 pigeons were slaughtered in an orgy of blood and feathers.
Though it's in dispute as to whether the event was sanctioned by the
Olympic council, there's no disputing that Parisian sidewalks were
cleaner for a brief period at the turn of the century. Running Deer
Single Shot was practised between the years 1906 and 1936. It was
considered more humane than the pigeon shoot because contestants
fired at moving paper targets only.
In wrestling at the Stockholm Games in 1912, the light
heavyweight final between a Swede, Anders Ahlgren, and a Finn, Ivar
Bohling, lasted nine hours. Since neither had gained an advantage
over the other, no gold medal was awarded. Each received a silver
medal.
Motor boating was an official sport at the 1908 Olympics. It was
frowned upon because the competitors were often out of sight of the
watching crowds.
Polo was played at the Olympics in 1900, 1908, 1920, 1924, and
1936.
Milo of Kroton, one of the greatest Ancient Olympic champions.
He won the wrestling event 6 times, over a span of 34 years. [The
famous wrestler Milo was said to train by carrying a calf every day.
As the calf grew heavier, his muscles got stronger.]
Footnote Please send us your funny Olympics jokes and
amusing pictures for London 2012.
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