Funny Football Quotes from Players and Managers

Funny Football Quotes from Players and Managers

A great friend once said, that no jockey ever said anything worth listening to.  After reading these soccer quotes, perhaps the same applies to soccer players.  On the other hand, these quotes do give us a chuckle.

I have to say that, for once, American sportsmen interview so much better, it's as if the NFL, Baseball and Basketball players have all been to media school, whereas our soccer players learn and speak their own dialect of English.

Footballers' quotes as reported in the British Press

• 'I couldn't settle in Italy - it was like living in a foreign country'. Ian Rush
• 'I'd like to play for an Italian club, like Barcelona'. Mark Draper
• 'Do you remember when we played in Spain in the Anglo-Italian Cup?' Shaun Newton
• 'Winning doesn't really matter as long as you win'. Vinny Jones
• 'I always used to put my right boot on first, and then obviously my right sock'. Barry Venison
• 'My parents have been there for me, ever since I was about 7'. David Beckham
• 'I definitely want Brooklyn to be christened, but I don't know into what religion yet'. David Beckham
• 'I would not be bothered if we lost every game as long as we won the league'. Mark Viduka
• 'I took a whack on my left ankle, but something told me it was my right'. Lee Hendrie
• 'Alex Ferguson is the best manager I've ever had at this level. Well, he's the only manager I've actually had at this level. But he's the best manager I've ever had'. David Beckham
• 'If you don't believe you can win, there is no point in getting out of bed at the end of the day'. Neville Southall
• 'Germany are a very difficult team to play...they had 11 internationals out there today'. Steve Lomas

Amusing quotes from football managers

Ivor Powell
Ivor a Welshman, who successfully managed Bradford City and Carlisle allegedly uttered these words after a good season on the field, 'Without doubt, one of the secrets of our successful season was the harmonium in the dressing room.'

After a celebratory dinner he was heard to say, 'We had a lovely meal. Lovely. We had a big steak with all the tarnishings.'

Ron Saunders
Big Ron, of Aston Villa and Birmingham fame, when asked about unrest in the dressing room and behind the scenes supposedly replied, 'Allegations are all very well but I would like to know who these alligators are.'

When asked to explain how a 2-0 lead became a 3-2 defeat Saunders uttered the immortal words, 'As I see it, if you're going to commit suicide, you don't do it yourself.'

Dick Duckworth
Dick Duckworth spoke to John Sadler in 1962 to say how pleased he was with Scunthorpe's side. He commented, 'I think I have the best side I've ever had now. We've a nice blend of old 'uns and youngsters. I think I've got the mucus of a good team.'

[all these quotes come from John Sadler, the respected sports journalist's article in the Guardian newspaper 14.08.2007]

Bill Shankly

Bill Shankly, the late, legendary Liverpool FC manager reputedly said, 'Some people believe football is a matter of life and death. I'm very disappointed with that attitude. I can assure you it is much, much more important than that.' It appears that this Italian fan thinks much the same:

An Italian football fan has started putting up a grave every time his team loses a major match. Inter Milan fan, Massimo Pecorino, 52, has so far erected more than 20 gravestones on a local mountainside. He says grave mistakes can only be marked by a grave where he buries his hopes and dreams, near his home town of Cortona.

Pecorino said, 'Instead of enjoying a celebration I felt like I was at a funeral, so I spent the day carving out my fury on a stone.'

Another selection of funny football quotes

• 'I've never wanted to leave. I'm here for the rest of my life, and hopefully after that as well'. Alan Shearer
• 'You've got to believe that you're going to win, and I believe we'll win the World Cup until the final whistle blows and we' re knocked out'. Peter Shilton
• 'I was watching the Blackburn game on TV on Sunday when it flashed on the screen that George (Ndah) had scored in the first minute at Birmingham. My first reaction was to ring him up. Then I remembered he was out there playing'. Ade Akinbiyi
• 'Without being too harsh on David Beckham, he cost us the match'. Ian Wright
• 'I'm as happy as I can be - but I have been happier'. Ugo Ehiogu
• 'Leeds is a great club and it's been my home for years, even though I live in Middlesborough'. Jonathan Woodgate
• 'I can see the carrot at the end of the tunnel'. Stuart Pearce
• 'The Brazilians were South American, the Ukrainians will be more European'. Phil Neville
• 'All that remains is for a few dots and commas to be crossed'. Mitchell Thomas
• 'One accusation you can't throw at me is that I've always done my best'. Alan Shearer
• 'I'd rather play in front of a full house than an empty crowd'. Johnny Giles
• 'Sometimes in football you have to score goals'. Thierry Henry.
• 'I was surprised, but I always say nothing surprises me in football'. Les Ferdinand.
• 'It was like the ref had a brand new yellow card and wanted to see if it worked'. Richard Rufus.
• 'There's no in between - you're either good or bad. We were in between'. Gary Lineker.
• 'If you don't concede any goals you'll win more games than you lose'. Wayne Bridge.
• See funny Christmas quotes

P.S. Please write to Will and Guy if you have any funny football quotes

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